Unemployed or Underemployed?

I took a voluntary buyout 15 months ago from a job that had been my life for 32 years. I believed that God would provide whether I stayed there or whether I left. The most exciting and challenging option was the uncertain one, so I took two years' salary and hit the door. I was physically, spiritually, and mentally in better health than I'd ever been. I'm still physically and spiritually fit, but my mind has been through a blender. The trail has been lined with new experiences, but the future is still a fog.

I am a writer by trade. That's what my eighth-grade English teacher, Joyce Berry, suggested in 1965, and that's been my journey ever since. I spent three decades as a journalist at The Anniston Star, The Hickory Daily Record, The Tuscaloosa News, and The Huntsville Times. At 58 years old, though, I was ready for a new challenge.

A temporary technical writing job with SAIC gave me a taste of a new career. It was more strict and limiting than journalism, but a challenge. It was only temporary, so I never felt that I was part of the company. Job hunting was a slow process for the next few months, and I went to work for $9.20 an hour at Home Depot as a seasonal worker. They have since made me officially a part-time employee. The paychecks can hardly cover a house payment, yet I can't be considered unemployed. I guess I'm just underemployed.

You know what is most troubling about having no full-time job? I miss the feeling that I belong to a group or a company. I miss being part of an operation that claims me as an employee. The paychecks injure my pride, but the lack of camaraderie job security is devastating to my psyche.